Pillars of a good and successful marriage

Your marriage success does not depend on how long you've been married but, how well you are able to manage the ups and downs therein. Any marriage therefore, constituted based on the physical structures, may, at the end of the day, not be able to stand the test of time. Marriage is not controlled in the physical but in the spiritual. There are structures that must be put in place before, during and at all time in your marriage; and the moment one of these structures collapsed, it can collapse your marriage without remedy.

I want to discuss briefly one of the structures of a good and successful marriage (an excerpt from my upcoming book on marriage but not into details here). Watch out!

The first pillar of any good and successful marriage is Love. Love is the foundation of any good and successful marriage. But, today, many are so blinded with lust that they tend to say “there’s no love” anymore. I want you to know something here that "anyone who says “there’s no love” anymore" is also dead of love. You can’t give what you don’t have, and you can’t have what you don’t and can’t give.

There is a mystery behind the word “Love” and that’s the major problem everyone is having today. To uncover the mystery in and behind Love is not physical but, spiritual. A lot of people can’t uncover the mystery in and behind the word “Love” because their thinking is physical and not spiritual. More so, majority of these people are not ready to give in love and take in love. Whenever I hear someone says, “I love you” it makes me shiver. Why, you may ask?

The first question that comes into my mind is always "does this person saying “I love you” actually and truly know the in-depth meaning of what he or she is saying?" Whenever you are saying to someone "I love you" it goes beyond that level and deeper than what you are saying. How? Whenever you say “I love you” in a simple terms it means “I, GOD, and YOU.” From this point of view, you can now ask yourself a simple question as "do I truly meant what I just said to that person?" Reason being that, if you, who is saying “I love you” don’t truly know God in the real sense of it, then you can't possibly mean what you are saying to that person involved. How?

The book of 1^st John 4 vs. 7 to 8 says,

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

Let us examine the above critically. To be able to love in truth and indeed, you must first understand that

• Everyone that will love must first know that love is of God;
• Everyone that will love must be born of God;
• Everyone that will love must know God;
• Everyone that do not love does not know God; and
• Everyone that will love must know for certain that God is love.

Therefore, for you to say "I love you” means you are entering into a covenant with another person while also involving God therein. So, when you involved God it means you are in the know of the above quoted passages well enough to

• Be able to chase out Satan from your life and your relationship;
• Know that you don't have to love only yourself anymore;
• Know that you are now being controlled in love through and by the presence of God in that relationship;
• Know that henceforth, you will love your partner without any iota of doubt till death do you part;
• Know that nothing will eventually come between the two of you because God is involved fully;
• Know that since God is involved, you will be able to weather any storm together in that marriage; and
• Know that you will always allow God to prevail no matter the condition.

Now, going into the 1^st Book of Corinthians 13 vs. 1 to 3, you will also notice some truth as follow:

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity (love), I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.”

The above passage is also buttressing the truth about your knowledge of God beyond reasonable doubt as to why and how it will guarantee your success in that marriage; and this is simply saying, if and when you can speak in diverse tongues of men and of angels, but love (God) is missing in you, it means,

• You are just making an empty noise within and without in that marriage.
• You are just wasting each others time for no just cause in that marriage.
• You are only an empty barrel seeking for undue attention of the passers-bye in that marriage.
• You are nothing but just someone trying to keep on making irrelevant trials on each other in that marriage.

Taking a queue from the above quoted passages is the more reason you’ll see, even among the so-called men of God or so-called Christians of today, love (God) is missing in their homes with all the anointing they possessed. Many of them keep giving reasons why they should keep changing women based on their knowledge, and also back it up with Bible verses. The reality of the matter is that they don’t know or have God in them.

From the above (last) quoted passages, it is further saying, even if you get all the wealth and riches of this world, and without love (God), you are nothing. More so, if you are giving to unnecessary attention by dishing out, virtually all that you have to get relevance, and without genuine love (God) in you, it won’t bring any profit or gains to you at the end.

So, if truly you will love that person as you proclaimed with your mouth, don't you think it calls for a serious thought before saying "I love you" to that person and after saying so? Will you now, in the face of any challenges in that marriage retract your "I love you" words? Will you say, when storms in that marriage comes that "it was a mistake, I didn't truly meant the word "I love you"?

When you minus the true love in your marriage, you'll get fake in return; and that's the time you'll hear people saying “there’s no true love” anymore? For instance, when you were born to this world, and prepared to go to school to study, has it ever crossed your mind that you can't be promoted to the next class without passing the examination of that present class you are? So likewise, in your marriage, you have to pass each class examination to get going in that marriage; and this does not come at the same time of your study. Your marriage examination comes as you progress in that marriage; and you must be prepared for it because you have a great teacher involved in that marriage from the beginning. The moment you fail to consult with your great teacher whenever a question is thrown to your face by the marriage examiner "Satan and his forces of darkness" then know for sure, that your marriage will crashed; just as some people do crashed out of their program of studies either at junior or senior or higher or degree or master or doctorate level for a reason beyond their control.

Therefore, if your marriage is not laid on this first pillar of a good and successful marriage which is ‘Love’, there’s no way you will and can enjoy that marriage on the long run. You may have all it takes to enjoy that marriage but, without God in it, that marriage is absolutely nothing. That marriage will profit you nothing. That marriage will just become as a sounding brass or as a tinkling cymbal. That marriage will become a thorn in the flesh to you.

Should you desire to learn and know more, feel free to contact me on this topic. To the glory of God, I have been married for over twenty years and still waxing strong on a daily basis but not without passing my own marriage examination to move on in life too, successfully.

Your marriage success is of huge concern to God; don't throw it into the dustbin, be prepared to lay everything down for its success.